napowrimo post 11.
Sunday Sans Smile
Thank you for ruining my smile
a wake up call filled with too much sun
a car with just enough fuel for it's last mile
a bank account with no more funds
That picture made me sick
you never stop to think of others
you've made it perfectly clear which one of us you'd pick
you threw me more pain so much it smothers.
H.
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ReplyDeleteyou mean post 11. nice rhyming. maybe make the second to last line shorter so it flows better. I like the metaphors in the first stanza but i want more tangible images in the second.
ReplyDeleteamy
i agree with amy. i LOVE your first stanza! i wish you made the second stanza more like the first, then it will be pure perfection!
ReplyDelete:)