The buildings were coming upon me at an alarming rate, and then I realized I had been sprinting. I stopped to catch my breath and take a look around, this was a part of town I’d never seen before. The buildings were cruel and hundreds of stories high, they stood like soldiers guarding there precious insides. I continued on slower than before taking in this place. Tall unmoving buildings, murky green subway entries that seemed to lead travelers straight to the earth’s hot smelly core, and the whimsical street lights that reminded me of Christmas despite the visible waves of heat that had been dancing up off the pavement. I passed them all as I headed west, straight to the river.
Christmas is a funny thing to think of as I stood there impatiently waiting for the light to turn and permit my crossing. I looked down and saw a flock of pigeons feasting upon the lifeless corpse of a pretzel…. Or maybe it was a hot dog who knew by this point it was it was too far gone to be recognized. I laughed to myself, how ironic I can’t identify this, and they’ll never be able to identify her. Oops, I guess I laughed aloud judging by the look of the Haitian nanny that stood next to me pushing some rich Wall Street types’ precious little spawn in a stroller that probably coasted more than I had earned last year.
Finally I made it to my destination, a deserted bench by the river, it’s next to a garbage can and the landscapers never seem to trim the grass so it’s not really a popular place to hangout, which is why it’s my favorite place in the city these days. I grabbed my cell phone and for a moment just held it in my hand, I’ve been so used to having a cell phone for so many years, would it be weird not to have one anymore, I don’t think inmates are allowed to update their twitter via blackberry these days even if Lindsay Lohan had. I dial his number and put my phone to my cheek, he answers on the first ring, probably because there is no reason for me to call him anymore. I told him that I was sorry and that I was turning myself in, he didn’t seem to know what I was talking about, figuring he was still at the office and hadn’t yet returned home I hung up and sat in silence for a few moments how do you tell your ex boyfriend that you just accidentally killed his fiancé.
I hadn’t meant to kill her of course; I just wanted to see if I had left my earrings back at the apartment that I had once shared with him. I took the one train down to what was once my usual stop walked the familiar four blocks and then up the stairs, I knew he was too stupid to ever think to have changed the locks so I got in no problem. I started looking through what were once my drawers checking the back corners and underneath the large oak piece, nothing. I turned to leave and saw her standing there, holding a knife, we began to struggle and finally though she was holding it, I somehow was controlling the knife making deep slashes across her milking white pore less face. She was crying out screaming to get out of her house, I tried to say, “I want to, I was just looking for my earrings,” but the struggle was too intense she couldn’t hear me over our grunting and gasping. Finally I had ripped the knife from her hands I wasn’t a killer I wasn’t even mad, I had just come to search for my earrings how has things escalated so much. She laid on the couch face ripped apart making chocking little noises that I assumed was crying since I could no longer see where her eyes actually were. I started to make my way to the door still holding the knife unconsciously when she lunged at me from behind startling me, and impaling her with an eight inch bread knife.
